A Little Faith
by IsabellaBrandybuck
Summary: Based on the episode "Injured". What if Nick really did have cancer? How would the group get through the ordeal?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Jess never imagined she would spend a full night on the beach with her closest friends.

They needed this adventure, in a peace-filled place, because that morning their lives could change forever.

Jess sat gazing at the ocean for a long time before drifting off to sleep, the gentle sea breeze ruffling her thick black hair.

She felt safe with Nick beside her, curled into a ball with Winston's coat as a blanket. Cece and Schmidt weren't far away, and she failed to notice how they cuddled. If this night could last...

When Nick awoke the following morning, his head ached from the amount of alcohol consumed, and he felt incredibly sore.

He gave Jess's shoulder a shake once he got his bearings, whispering her name. She blinked open her beautiful blue eyes, and struggled to sit.

She seemed surprised that they were still on the beach, but upon that realization a smile formed on her lips.

"Good morning," she told Nick, who smiled back, rubbing a hand over his face. "How'd you sleep?" She brushed grains of sand from her clothes that appeared over night, and Nick shrugged.

"All right, I guess," he replied. "I guess we'd better get to the hospital for that ultrasound. You get Winston ready and I'll handle CeCe and Schmidt."

Within the next ten minutes, the group piled in Winston's junk mobile, and were on the road. No one spoke the entire journey to the hospital, though Jess kept her arm locked through Nick's for support. For the first time, he didn't try to fight her.

"I wish I could tell you guys everything's gonna be okay," Nick spoke up as they found a free space in the parking lot. "But I'd be lying if I did. I don't think this is going to turn out well."

Schmidt's lower lip trembled with emotion, and CeCe nudged his arm when she heart a slight whimper.

"I wish you told us you didn't feel right sooner, man," Winston replied.

"I thought it would go away on it's own," Nick admitted. He was a stubborn son of a bitch, and no mistake.

"Let's try to think positively, okay?" Jess begged. "Nick...even if you do have cancer, which you don't...it's treatable these days. Plus...you're strong and healthy anyway."

Schmidt snorted.

"What was that?" Nick glanced over his shoulder at his friend with a playful grin.

"Nothing dude," Schmidt replied.

The five friends piled out of the car and made their way to the front entrance. Nick walked slower than the others, his hands in his pockets.

He hated doctors for this reason, for the fear they instilled in their patients. He knew Jess was in the right for having him come here, but it still didn't ease his anxiety. If he had cancer, the cost of the treatment would leave him in more debt than he already was, and he hated asking for money.

Schmidt brought up how he should have sucked it up and finished law school, that he should have tried to do more with his life than bartending.

Nick knew this, and if he got away clear, he would ask Jess what the next step to living for real would be. He envied her constant happiness, her positive outlook on everyone and everything. She forgave at the drop of a hat, she cried over a dead bird.

Nick found himself longing to be more like Jessica Day, though his fear kept him at a stand still.

They entered the air conditioned building, which smelled strongly of antiseptic and floor wax. His stomach churned when he approached the receptionist desk to sign in for his appointment, and the nurse handed him a clipboard with forms.

"I'll need your insurance information, please," she requested kindly, and Nick felt his cheeks grow warm.

"I uh..." he cleared his throat. "I don't have insurance. I was just going to pay in cash, if that's okay." He knew how stupid he sounded, but it was the truth. Bartending paid shit, and he couldn't afford insurance.

The nurse blinked in confusion for a moment, and then nodded. "All right," she replied.

"I wish I could go in with you...I hate that you have to do the testing alone," Jess admitted, and Nick smiled at her.

"I'm a big boy...I can handle it," he insisted.

When the radiologist called his name, Nick turned to his friends one final time, and followed the technician through the double doors.

"How long does it take for a person to find out if they have cancer or not?" Schmidt asked loudly when 45 minutes passed without a sign of Nick.

Jess fidgeted in her chair, trying to focus on the latest fashion magazine, but failed miserably.

When Nick did emerge from the double doors, his face looked grim, and the tech followed behind him.

"What happened?" Jess grabbed his arms, and he looked at the tech, who tried to give the group an encouraging smile.

"They think something might be up," he replied. "The swelling in my neck is an enlarged lymph node and they found others under my arms. I'm supposed to check in so they can run more tests. I told them how tired I felt all the time...yes, Jess, I openly discussed my feelings."

Jess covered her mouth with her hand, and Schmidt cursed loudly, receiving annoyed looks from the other people in the waiting room.

"He also has a low grade fever we'd like to monitor," the tech explained. "It is possible he could just have an infection, but we want to be positively certain. We'll take good care of him, I promise."

Jess hugged Nick tightly, and Schmidt fiddled with the hem of his jacket.

"We're staying with you tonight, man," he said, and Nick arched an eyebrow. "You're not going through this alone..."

The tech cut him off. "I'm sorry, but we can't allow so many people staying in the room at once," she explained. "One or two is fine, but more than that can be distraction."

Jess looked at the rest of her friends. "We can take shifts until he's out of here."

Nick tried to argue the issue, but he couldn't get a word in edge wise. It was decided that Jess and Schmidt would take tonight, and CeCe would join Winston on Monday.

"You guys really don't have to do this," Nick pointed out. "I'm 30 years old for God's sake."

"I don't care if you're 30," Jess retorted. "I am going home to pack you a bag of things for your stay and we'll be back. Don't..." she pointed a finger at Nick when he started to argue again, finally sagging with defeat.

"Okay, fine, if you insist." He rolled his eyes, and the tech got him set up at the counter. "Whoa wait wait...if I'm staying, how will I be able to afford this without insurance?" He turned to Jess, who put a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't worry about the money. We can cover it. You my good sir, need to focus on getting well."

Nick felt his throat choke up with emotion.

"I'll pay you back," he squeaked, and Schmidt grinned.

"Your only debt to us is getting better, man."

The tech got Nick signed in, and the group walked with him to his room on the third floor once available.

"Not bad," Winston admitted, peering through the doorway.

Inside sat two twin sized hospital beds, two dressers, a bathroom with a shower, and two large windows that let in plenty of sunshine. The beds were separated by a thin curtain, and the nurse explained that while the room was unoccupied, Nick could get a roommate at any point.

"Hopefully I won't be here long enough to experience that," He mumbled, and the nurse, who finally introduced herself as Morgan, held up a thin paper gown.

"You'll have to wear this while you're here," she explained. "To make testing easier."

Nick stared at the object in horror, and turned back to his friends. "Please leave, guys...the last thing I want..."

"Modesty...right," Jess teased, ushering the other three out into the hallway, before turning around.

"You too," Nick demanded, and Jess rolled her eyes.

"Nothing I haven't seen before," She laughed, and Nick glared at her.

"I'll see you when you come back with my stuff," He said, and she gave him a hug, pecking a kiss on his cheek.

"You're not alone," she insisted, and Nick watched her vanish from sight.

Jess drove CeCe home first, and then brought Schmidt and WInston back to the loft.

She cried when she went through Nick's dresser, trying to stop but finding it impossible. Schmidt found her sobbing while lying on Nick's bed, hugging a pair of his jeans to her face.

"You okay?" Schmidt asked, joining her. He hadn't seen Jess this distraught since she first moved in, following her break-up with the famous Spencer.

"He looked so scared," Jess choked. "I don't want Nick to die, Schmidt. He just can't leave us." She used his jeans as a tissue, and Schmidt winced at the gesture.

"He won't die," Schmidt urged. "He may not even have cancer. It could just be the flu, or mono, like the tech said. Glands swell all the time for that stuff, and you know how Nick is...he catches everything a mile away. Plus...you said that cancer is treatable, especially nowadays. He's gonna be fine."

Jess sniffed and struggled to sit up, needing to pull herself together.

"You're right," she hiccoughed. "We have to be strong, we have to be Nick's rock. He'll need us more than ever now." she held up the jeans, and Schmidt gingerly pointed at them.

"You might not want to pack those...it has your snot all over it," he said with a grimace, and Jess laughed.

"They do not," she argued. "Just a little damp, see?" she held them closer to Schmidt, who immediately backed away. "I just hate thinking of him stuck in the hospital. The poor guy just has one disaster after another."

Schmidt nodded in understanding, fiddling with them hem of his shirt. "Me too. Hey...thanks for letting me take the first shift with you, Jess," he added as he volunteered to get Nick's bathroom supplies.

"No problem," she answered, and after the bag had been packed and zipped closed, they headed for the front door.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Nick lay by himself in the eerily silent hospital room, feeling completely insecure in the flimsy gown. The room felt so cold that his teeth chattered, and no matter how closely to his chin he pulled the blankets, he couldn't gain any warmth.

Morgan had taken his temperature and discovered he had a fever of 101, which would explain the chills, and he'd felt sick to his stomach when she had to draw blood from his arm.

Dr. Bently had come in to explain the rest of the procedures, which would include a biopsy of the lymph node in his neck, and a bone marrow aspiration. The procedures would occur the following morning, and he had to fast before the general anesthesia.

Morgan had given Nick some medication for his fever, and for the pain still prominent in his injured back from Jess's tackle.

He knew Jess would return soon enough, but he missed her already.

Before leaving him alone, Dr. Bently explained the general hospital routine, including meal times and visiting hours.

When Jess did come back with Schmidt at her heels an hour later, he was out cold.

Jess felt his forehead gently, finding it to be much warmer than she remembered.

He stirred at her touch and opened her eyes, the down side to being such a light sleeper.

"Sorry...I didn't mean to wake you," Jess apologized sheepishly, and handed him his duffle bag of supplies. "Have you met with the doctor yet? What have they done so far?"

Nick shrugged.

"They took a blood sample, blood pressure, my temp, etc. Dr. Bently said that I have a bone marrow aspiration tomorrow at 9:00, and I'll have a biopsy done at the same time using anesthetic." he shuddered...his body didn't react well to anesthesia, as he could remember as a child when he had his tonsils removed. He'd thrown up violently for hours.

Schmidt sat down on the chair closest the door, allowing Jess the honor of sitting next to Nick's bed. She reached over and grabbed his hand, squeezing it gently.

Nick peered through his duffle bag after Jess explained what she'd packed for him, and smiled when she tossed in a few magazines. Schmidt even let Nick borrow his Ipod while he was hospital bound, because the silence could get ugly.

"Thanks, man," Nick told Schmidt, who saluted him. "Guys, I really am glad you're here," he admitted. "I just wish I knew it was going to be okay." He looked at Jess, his eyes narrowing a little. "Jess...tell me...I need to hear it."

Jess placed his hand against her cheek. "It'll be okay," she said, and looked at Schmidt, who looked close to tears.

Nick's eyes drifted shut again, and he announced he was going to try and get some sleep.

Jess nodded in understanding, and glanced at Schmidt, who texted someone on his cell phone.

Ceec...No sex tonight...staying with Nick. See you tomorrow. S.

Nick slept for the remainder of the evening much to Jess's relief, and didn't even budge when she and Schmidt went to the hospital's cafeteria for dinner.

"Never thought I'd be eating from a lunch line again," Schmidt muttered as he nibbled on his sandwich. Jess watched as people...staff and family alike...weaved in and out of the room. Some had blank expressions on their faces, and Jess could only imagine what they were thinking.

She missed the simple times, even though they weren't long ago, when the biggest thing she had to worry about was the lesson plan for the following week.

"Seriously, Schmidt...we have to be real about this," Jess spoke up as they finished eating and made their way back upstairs. "What if he does have cancer? What are we going to do about it?"

Schmidt shrugged, keeping his hands in his pockets, his head down.

"I really don't know," he admitted. "I told CeCe the worst that happened to me was my cat dying. I've never had a best friend with anything other than a cold or the flu, and let me tell ya, that's not fun for me..." he shuddered with disgust, and that made Jess chuckle. Schmidt had such a phobia of germs for a guy his age...for a guy at any age, as a matter of fact.

"I don't know either," She replied with a deep breath. "I guess it's just like with everything else. You take it one day at a time. We just have to make sure we're available 24/7 for Nick."

Schmidt agreed wholeheartedly.

Throughout the night, Jess found it annoying when the nurses would come to draw more blood from Nick, and take his temperature to keep him closely monitored. She wanted to yell at them, to tell the nurses that a sick person needed sleep, not constant interruptions.

Schmidt slept through every incident, his snoring so loud that she had to kick him several times.

"How do I not hear you at home through the wall?" Jess asked at breakfast the following morning, while Nick was getting ready for his surgical testing. Nick had already thrown up from nerves, much to her worry, and his pitiful face when he was put in a wheelchair made her heart break.

"Skill," Schmidt replied with a grin. "Listen, I've gotta go to work, okay? Call me if you need anything." he pecked a kiss on Jess's forehead, which made her feel warm and fuzzy inside. She never knew what to expect after moving in with the three men, but they had been more like big brothers to her than anything else. She liked each of them equally in the same manner, though she noticed her feelings went a little deeper for Nick. She refused to tell anyone about it just yet, not until she could figure out what was going on. CeCe already made the comment that he liked her, simply by how he placed his feet.

Jess had called the school to set up for a substitute teacher that day, wanting to be there for Nick when he returned from his testing. She planned on trying to keep life as normal as possible, the only way she could think of to get through this.

Jess graded papers while she waited for Nick to return from his tests, sipping on a cup of tea that she'd prepared from the lounge. The nurses on Nick's floor were very sweet, very accommodating and respectful. They thought it was sweet that Nick had such good friends to take care of him, especially when his family was so far away. Jess thought about calling Nick's mother, but decided against it, especially since they didn't know anything right now.

When Nick did return from the lab, he was so sick from the anesthesia, that it scared her. She'd never seen someone vomit so much and so violently in her life, not even from a stomach flu. Nick actually wept from the pain in his stomach, and he was given medication to ease the nausea.

"How long will it take to get the results back?" Jess asked Dr. Bently once Nick stopped puking long enough to rest, and the doctor smiled at her.

"Two days at the most," he explained. "The good news, besides the nausea, is his fever has gone down from last night. That's good, very good." He nodded with approval, and Jess kept a tight hold on Nick's hand. He whimpered whenever she tried to release her grip.

"Thank you," Jess replied. "Do you think it's bad, doctor? I mean..." she wet her lips, and Dr. Bently gave her an encouraging pat on the shoulder.

"I will be straight with you," He continued, "I think Nick may have non hodgkins lymphoma. It's common for men his age, and the symptoms are pretty spot on."

Jess covered her face with her free hand, and her heart hammered in her chest.

"He won't die, will he?" she whispered.

"Not if I have anything to do with it," Dr. Bently answered, and Jess smiled weakly. "He will have the best care in the world, I will make sure of that."

Jess nodded. "He doesn't have insurance," she whispered. "But that's okay because we're going to help him pay for the bills...I'm sure they're astronomical."

Dr. Bently smiled again, and she did think he was handsome, even with his graying hair. He looked prestigious...doctor's usually did.

"I wouldn't worry about the money," he replied. "That will all be worked out later. He needs to focus on getting well, which if we caught the cancer early enough, remission will be much easier to achieve."

Jess stared at him. "Are you married?" She asked, and the doctor grinned.

"Yes I am...25 years."

Damn, Jess thought.

"Kids?"

Dr. Bently nodded. "Twin boys. And are you married?"

Jess glanced at Nick's sleeping form, wishing she could say yes, but knowing that would be an outright lie. She was all about the truth.

"No," Jess replied. "Not yet." She gave a slight shrug.

"Is he your boyfriend? You haven't left his side since he came in here."

Jess wet her lips and felt her cheeks growing warm.

"He's my best friend," she answered honestly, and Dr. Bently winked playfully at her.

"Well...I must be on my rounds," he explained. "I'll be back to check on Nick a little later this evening. Hopefully the side effects from the anesthetic will wear off quickly." He said goodbye, and Jess was alone with Nick once again.

Nick didn't officially feel better until that evening, though he was too nervous to eat any dinner. Winston stopped by shortly after the meal cart came by.

"How's it going, man? Where's Jess?" He noticed the room was empty, and Nick pointed to the bathroom.

"She's taking a shower," he explained. "I'm doing okay, despite feeling like a pincushion. Shocked I have any blood left, they took so much outta me."

Winston smirked at his friend's attempt to make a joke. "Any news?" he raised his eyebrows with curiosity, and Nick shook his head, clearly irritated.

"No," he groaned. "I hate it here, Winston. I want to be home in my own bed." he blew out his breath. "This sucks complete ass."

Winston nodded in understanding. "Yeah I know," he agreed.

"Can I tell you something? Promise not to tell Jess, okay?" Nick begged, and Winston hesitated, but gave a nod of approval. "I'm scared out of my mind."

Winston blinked stupidly. "Why wouldn't you tell Jess?" He asked.

"I don't want her to think..." he closed his eyes. "I've been feeling like shit for so long...I don't want her to think I know something's wrong, I don't want to be lectured."

Winston leaned back in his chair, and stared at his friend. "How long is long exactly?" he asked, and Nick swallowed, his throat sore from all the vomiting, and he gazed at the ceiling. "How long?" Winston repeated in a firmer tone, and Nick looked at him.

"It's been a few months," He admitted, and Winston cursed. "Don't lecture me," he demanded. "I told you not to."

Winston bit his tongue, wanting so much to ream his friend out.

"Do you realize they could have caught this sooner?" He asked. "If it is cancer, I mean. If it's not, then I'll let it go. If it is, dude, I'm going to kill you myself."

Nick chuckled warmly. "I didn't want to go because I was afraid it would turn into something like this," He admitted. "I don't have money, Win. I don't have insurance. Even buying over the counter shit is like selling a body part."

Winston sighed, he knew what Nick meant, being unemployed as well. Money sucked, and even when you had a job, the bills piled on anyway in an endless stream.

"Plus...Jess is right. I haven't done much with my life. I'm afraid I'm gonna die before I get to really do anything. I've always been scared shitless of all the bad things that I've forgotten about how good things can be." He turned towards the window, watching the sun set. Winston clasped his hands together in his lap, hearing the shower turn off...Jess was almost finished.

"Here's what we're gonna do," He said, and Nick turned back to him. "Come up with a bucket list, of everything you've been thinking that you want to do. If you have cancer we'll have to put this on hold, obviously, but you need a list."

"A list." Nick reached for a glass of water from his tray, and sipped it slowly. He was so damn thirsty, but he knew better than to chug.

"Yeah, like...places you wanna see, fall in love, movies you haven't watched, games you haven't played...stuff like that. I have one in my dresser drawer at home."

Nick smirked and Winston pointed a finger at him just as Jess emerged from the bathroom in her pajamas...she had planned to spend another night.

"Hey Winston," she greeted, startled. "I didn't expect to see you here."

Winston shrugged as Jess went to feel Nick's forehead, which still was a bit on the warm side. "How are you feeling?" she asked, and he cleared his throat.

"Like I was hit by a truck," he mumbled, and she took a seat.

"I'm not planning to stay over," Winston announced, glancing at Jess in her bunny pajamas, and Nick grinned. "I just wanted to check up on my man here. I plan on being part of this too, you know." he made a clicking sound with his mouth, and pointed his fingers in Nick's direction.

"You really shouldn't be sleeping here, either, Jess," Nick pointed out. "I don't mind that you come every day to visit, but please, I want to live vicariously through you until I'm outta here. It won't be long, hon, you know that." he smiled and Jess wanted to burst into tears, remembering Dr. Bently's prediction.

"I know it won't," she lied. "Nick, stop being so stubborn. I don't mind staying here overnight. The air mattress the nurse setup is pretty comfy, actually." she said, pointing to the object on the far wall.

"I mind," Nick replied, and she blinked. "I didn't mean it like that. Look, Jess, if you want to do something for me, be normal, please, I beg of you. If I need you I'll call you, like a normal friend does, okay?"

Jess folded her arms across her chest and looked at Winston with a frown. "Did you put him up to this?" she asked, and Winston held up his hands with innocence.

"No," he insisted, and she sighed.

"Look," Nick continued, "I'll let you stay tonight since you're already in your pajama outfit.."

"Pajamas! God!" Jess corrected. "What is wrong with you?"

Nick offered his arms for a hug, and Jess went into them immediately, burying her face against his chest.

"It's gonna be okay, sweetheart," he insisted, glancing at Winston who rolled his eyes. "It's gonna be okay."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Jess remained true to her promise of not crowding Nick every evening, and tried to get on with her life as best as possible. She returned home after school the following afternoon, and found Schmidt in a cleaning frenzy throughout the apartment.

"What are you doing?" she asked, and Schmidt raised his head, his hand holding a sponge over the kitchen counter.

"De-germing this place," He replied. "When Nick comes home, we can't let him get sick, ever again. I won't have this again, Jess." he continued to scrub the counter in a rough, repetitive motion, before he collapsed against it, sobbing into his arms.

Jess stared at her friend in dismay, the smell of orange cleaning spray filling her nostrils.

"Schmidty," she soothed and came over to his side, removing the cleaning supplies from his hands. "Hey, come here, okay?" she pulled him into a hug, letting Schmidt use her shoulder for support. "What happened? You seemed calm as a cucumber."

Schmidt removed himself from Jess, his face wet with tears. "I've been cleaning for two hours straight, do you realize?" he asked. "I started thinking that maybe I didn't do a good enough job before, maybe something I left untouched got him sick, maybe...this could have been prevented if I'd been more careful..." Jess grabbed Schmidt's arms.

"Don't you dare blame yourself," she begged. "Nick would beat the crap out of you if he thought so."

Schmidt nodded quickly and took steady breaths, trying to calm himself down. "Yeah...yeah. Wow...sorry about that," he muttered. "I lost it for a second."

Jess grinned playfully and set the supplies on the table. "We all did at one point this week," she replied. "I used Nick's jeans as a hanky. Remember?"

Schmidt winced, his eye twitching. "I tried to forget about that," he groaned, and at that very moment, his cell phone dinged. He excused himself to check the message, and looked at Jess who was now grabbing something to drink from the fridge.

"Hey uh...I've gotta run," Schmidt told her. "I'll be back later, k? Call me if there's any news about Nick."

Jess saluted him and watched as Schmidt bolted for the door faster than the road runner in a Wile E coyote cartoon. She shrugged before bringing a glass of iced tea to the couch, where she planned to pop in a movie.

Nick lay in bed watching television when Dr. Bently came in with his chart, and greeted his clearly exhausted patient with a handshake.

"How are we feeling this afternoon?" Dr. Bently asked as Nick struggled to sit up a little straighter, his back still sore but definitely improved from earlier that week.

"I'm alive," he replied. "I'm sure that's more than some folks around here could say, right, doc?" he made a goofy face and Dr. Bently chuckled.

"Most of the time people who die are taken right out to a mortuary," he explained, and Nick wet his lips. "Hospitals are about saving, not killing, I hope you realize."

Nick blushed and fiddled with his blankets. "So what's up? Did you get my results back yet?" Dr. Bently's expression changed almost instantly, and Nick stared at him. "What's wrong? It's bad, isn't it?"

Dr. Bently reviewed his chart, adjusting his glasses, and sat down so he could be eye level with Nick. "Well, it's not good," he replied. "Nick, you have stage two non hodgkins lymphoma."

Nick blinked, feeling stupid, wishing he'd paid more attention in science. "In layman's terms?" he asked, and Dr. Bently cleared his throat.

"It's a form of cancer that is centralized in your lymph system," he explained, and Nick collapsed back onto the pillow. Cancer...he had cancer.

"Okay, you said I had stage two of that, right?" he asked. "How many stages are there?"

Dr. Bently gave him a serious look. "Four," he replied. "Stage two means that the cancer is found in two or more lymph node regions on one side of the diaphragm, which is why you've been having pain in your chest as you mentioned to the tech before your testing. In your case thankfully only two lymph nodes are infected, and it hasn't spread yet"

"Yet?" Nick asked, feeling sick to his stomach, hoping he wouldn't vomit. "What does that mean, yet?"

"It means that unless we treat it right away, the cancer will spread."

Nick blinked. "So...what's the treatment consist of?" He questioned, wishing he hadn't asked Jess to leave, because here he was, hearing this horrible information all by himself.

"We're going to start you on a round of chemotherapy," Dr. Bently began after a moment of silence passed between them. "I'm going to have you moved to our oncology floor, and I have already set you up with the top oncologist in the building."

"Chemo..." Nick paused. "Isn't that the stuff that makes you sick and you lose your hair?" he felt stupid, but cancer was a foreign word, especially in his own body.

"It can," Dr. Bently replied. "We'll have to keep you here for at least a month for what we call the induction phase, which means we regulate the drugs until your system can handle them."

Nick shot upright, and glared at Dr. Bently. "Whoa, whoa, slow down, I am NOT staying here for a month," He snapped. "I have a job...if I don't work, I don't get paid, and if I don't get paid, I can't help out with rent...I'll be on the street man, don't you understand? Not everyone is rich and can handle these fancy treatments!" he was shaking.

"I wouldn't advise you forgo the treatment," Dr. Bently said. "Because without it, Nick, you will die. That's a fact."

Nick stared at his physician in disbelief.

"How long would I have in both circumstances, with or without the treatment?"

Dr. Bently leaned back a little, knowing this information for any patient could be difficult to handle, especially one with money problems. He always wondered why people went without health insurance, even state issued medical, because anything could arise at any time.

"The survival rate with treatment is ninety percent," Dr. Bently replied, "You could live a long, healthy life if you are in remission once the chemo cycle is over. However, if you choose to avoid treatment, I'd say you would have a few years at the most."

Nick rubbed a hand over his face. "Jesus," he whispered. "I'm sorry, doc, I know you're only doing your job, but I just..." he stared at the ceiling. "I'm just a little pissed off right now."

Dr. Bently nodded in understanding. "I know that," he insisted. "If it were me, I'd go with the treatment," he said, "Regardless of my financial status. I told your friend that I would be happy to set up a payment plan for you once you are in remission and out of here..."

Nick's mouth hung open. "What friend...you told Jess before you told me? What the fuck, man? She's not the patient!" he pounded his fist on the mattress, and Dr. Bently smiled.

"I didn't tell her anything other than what I thought might be wrong," he said. "I needed to be honest with her. I don't believe in giving false hope, even if it is good bedside manner. The key here is to be forward with everyone, and as you didn't ask, I didn't feel the need to reveal the information voluntarily."

Nick wiped his eyes that had begun to moisten, and cursed his luck. How could this be happening? What did he ever do to deserve getting cancer? He was just a guy trying to navigate through this thing called life.

"When do we start?" he asked after he collected himself, and Dr. Bently grinned with relief.

"You've decided to start chemo?" he asked, and Nick nodded softly. "Excellent choice, you won't regret it," Dr. Bently replied, and Nick scowled.

"Wanna bet?" he mumbled.

"I'd like to get you started tomorrow at the earliest," He replied. "The sooner we get the drugs into your system the better your chances."

Nick cursed under his breath.

"Okay...I guess I'm doing this," he said, and cleared his throat. "I want my friends with me before I go up to the new room. I don't want them coming in and freaking out if..." he sniffed and Dr. Bently smiled with understanding.

"Of course...but Nick, I would contact them right away, because I want you up there as soon as the dinner rounds are over. That gives you three hours from now, all right?"

Nick saluted his doctor before reaching for his cell, planning on sending a mass text to the group. His fingers shook so hard he could barely type, and he tried to be as vague as possible with his message.

The only thing he could think of, though, was the truth: Doc told me I have cancer. I need you to come here right now. I'm going insane alone...N. p.s. he said it is treatable...

Nick sniffed and hit send, leaning back against his pillow that felt so damp from sweat it was uncomfortable.

He was still awake by the time Jess, Schmidt, Winston and CeCe arrived, each in hysterics when they entered his room.

Schmidt couldn't stop yelling "Fuck!" At the top of his lungs when Nick explained the information as best he could with what little medical knowledge he understood.

"Don't cry, Jess, please," Nick begged as tears began to fall down her cheeks. "Dr. Bently told me I have a 90% chance of making it through this. That's good news."

Schmidt planted a wet sloppy kiss on Nick's lips, and he glared at him. "Stop fredo kissing me, man, I mean it!" He snapped.

"So how long are you stuck here?" Winston asked, and Nick looked at him.

"A month," he sighed. "A fucking month."

Jess squeezed his hand.

"Oh my God..." she took a shaky breath. "Nick, I'm..."

"Don't apologize," he insisted. "This isn't your fault, or anyone else's..." he pointed to the other's who were staring him down. "It's just pure bad luck."

Each friend grabbed onto his hand, and they sat connected, as though their bodies would release energy to make the healing process faster.

"You're gonna beat this, do you hear me?" Schmidt asked. "I'll do anything to get you better, man, even if it means sending you to some spiritual quack in Switzerland."

Nick arched an eyebrow. "Oh that would be productive," he chuckled. "Listen, guys, the doctor said it hasn't spread, so that's good news. They're just going to pump me with chemo until they kick what's in me out."

Jess leaned her head against Nick's chest much to his surprise, listening to the steady beat of his heart.

He gently placed a hand on her back and closed his eyes.

"They're moving me to the oncology floor tonight after dinner's over," He explained. "I'll have a different room next time you come here, so I wanted to let you know before..." he cleared his throat.

"It's all good, man," Winston replied, patting his shoulder. "It's all good."

The gang remained with Nick until Dr. Bently arrived to announce it was time to move, and he looked at everyone who definitely looked as though they'd lost someone already.

"You told them, I take it?" Dr. Bently asked Nick who listened to Jess read from "The Phantom Tollbooth," using different voices to act the characters.

"Yes I did, doc, how can you tell?" Nick asked with sarcasm, and Schmidt stood up.

"What are his odds? Is he gonna make it?" He asked, and CeCe rolled her eyes, demanding he sit down and let the doctor work.

"He won't if you take up his time asking stupid questions," CeCe snapped, and Schmidt looked at her.

"It's not a stupid question," Dr. Bently insisted as he eased Nick into a wheelchair, though he insisted he could walk by himself. Nick was so used to his modesty being compromised by this nightmare that he didn't care about everyone seeing him in the flimsy nightgown had been replaced by a thin cotton one for comfort). "He's got a very strong chance of beating this disease, and I'm glad to say he's opted for the treatment."

Winston gave Nick a high five, and Jess took a shaky breath, closing her eyes for a moment. She honestly had been afraid Nick would decided to wing this on his own if he thought it would cost the life savings he didn't have to pay for them. She planned on putting Nick on her health insurance through the school, she'd already talked it over with the Principal. He was the only family she had nearby, and simply couldn't go without health insurance. She'd done some research and even when the initial chemo regime was over, he'd have to go in for check-ups once every four months until he was considered cure after 5 years.

"That's fantastic," CeCe told Nick with a grin. "You won't regret..."

Nick held up his hand and stopped her. "Doc already tried to pull that one on me, and no," he said, and CeCe arched an eyebrow at Jess, who laughed.

"Shall we?" Dr. Bently asked, taking hold of Nick's chair, and he gave the current hospital room one last glance.

"Yes sir," he said, and Dr. Bently wheeled him into the hallway.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

After supper, Nick moved to his new room on the oncology floor of the hospital. His roommate, Charles, was only 25 and suffering from a second bout of Leukemia. His hair already gone and his body stick thin from treatment, and according to the nurse, his family was far away as well in Pennsylvania.

He was cheerful enough when Nick greeted him awkwardly after being assisted into bed by the orderly, and though he was exhausted beyond words, he tried to strike up casual conversation with Charles.

"How long have you been here?" Nick ventured after the nurse left both men to their own devices, and Charles peered curiously at him over the top of his magazine.

"Six weeks," He replied, and Nick whistled. "Tell me about it," he replied. "I hear you're new to the whole chemo game, right? i was prepped ahead of time."

Nick laughed weakly. "Unfortunately," he replied, trying to keep his gaze off of Charles' bald head, but found it difficult. "How bad is it, man?" he questioned curiously. "I want the truth, too, none of this it's gonna be okay bullshit that everyone keeps feeding me."

Charles grinned at Nick's comment, and took a deep breath. "It's absolute hell on earth," he replied. "The second that liquid hits your veins they immediately feel like they're on fire. Then there's the constant nausea, the mouth sores, the hair loss..." he shrugged and closed his eyes for a moment. "I have to say that not everybody has the same level of torture as I did with chemo, but if you're sensitive to drugs then you will have a tough time."

Nick thought about his reaction to anesthesia, which most people weren't bothered by, and dreaded the following morning. He noticed something sticking out from Charles' hospital gown and pointed to it. "What's that thing?"

Charles lifted up his shirt and revealed what looked to be a tube of some kind protruding from his chest.

"It's a shunt they use to dump the poison in," He explained. "Saves them from having to find a vein every time. The more chemo you get the more messed up they are...they can really go flat, which makes it a problem."

Nick swallowed past a lump of nausea in his throat, wondering why he'd agreed to go through with this.

"So if they think chemo is such a good idea, then why are you back in the hospital?" Nick asked. "They make it sound like the best cure, but I don't see you out on the street living a normal life afterward."

Charles smiled softly and knew how confusing and scary the process of fighting cancer could be. He had been battling leukemia since he was sixteen.

"It's a crap shoot," he said. "You either make it, or you don't. I just decided I wasn't going down without a fight as long as I'm still breathing."

Nick wet his lips and nodded in understanding.

"I hope you don't mind when my friends come to visit," He told Charles. "They tend to be really overprotective, especially Jess."

Charles shook his head. "No problem...is Jess your girlfriend? I had to force mine to leave or she would have spent another night here. She and I got engaged not long before it hit me again."

Nick was taken aback by the forwardness of the question. He knew he had feelings for Jess, but he couldn't quite process them. He didn't think he'd go past friendship for anyone he lived with...it would be like falling in love with Schmidt or Winston...the idea made him sick.

"I don't know yet," he replied. "I like her, she's a good friend, but..." he shrugged. "I really don't have much to offer other than muscles, and barely that." he attempted to flex his arms but was so tired he put them down almost immediately.

"I'm sure that's not true," Charles argued. "What do you do for work?"

Nick snorted. "I'm a full time bartender," he replied. "I dropped out of law school halfway through and I serve drinks for a living."

Charles blinked stupidly at him, and Nick knew how ridiculous his answer sounded.

"Why did you quit law school?" he asked, and Nick turned his attention towards the plain white ceiling, glad for the permanent company. It was depressing once his other friends left for the night, especially since he had a tendency to suffer from insomnia.

"I didn't want to be stuck in a stuffy suit and tie all my life," he replied. "I didn't want to work under somebody, and look how that turned out." he smirked and Charles smiled sheepishly.

"Funny how you feel about that," he replied. "I'm an attorney myself, I just got a job at a family law firm, which is why I moved out here."

Nick felt his cheeks reddening with embarrassment. "Nothing against attorney's themselves, man," he insisted. "I just didn't think it was the right fit for me."

They continued to chat about Nick's interests and what he would possibly do once he beat cancer, until the nurse came to tell them it was "light's out".

"You're going to need your rest for tomorrow," She explained with a smile, and Nick returned the gesture, watching as Charles settled back as comfortably as he could.

The following morning came too quickly for Nick's liking, and he was given an IV with the bag of amber colored liquid. Charles hadn't been kidding at all about the excruciating pain that resulted, and it took all of his willpower not to scream aloud.

He also began to vomit continually into the plastic basin Charles handed to him the second the nausea hit, which was only slightly abated by the nausea medication provided by the nurse. He was too sick to eat dinner that night, and had fallen asleep when Jess arrived to visit after she made dinner for the rest of the loft mates.

"How's he doing?" She asked Charles who lay watching television, and after she'd introduced herself.

"He's having a rough time of it," Charles explained as she sat down by the edge of the bed and reached for Nick's hand. He only stirred slightly at her touch, and she took a deep breath. His face was bathed in sweat, his hair plastered against his forehead. She immediately got up from the chair and went into the small bathroom, dampening a wash cloth. She began to blot his forehead and cheeks, wishing she could trade places with him.

Jess had stopped by the receptionist desk to fill out the official insurance paperwork for Nick before coming up to his room, and now everything was set up in the hospital computer. Knowing he would be taken care of financially helped her quite a bit.

"He's been throwing up non-stop since they started the drugs, and I think he's now gone for a record of an hour without being sick."

Jess shook her head as she peered at Nick's sleeping face, which occasionally crinkled with pain.

"How long did it last for you? The side effects, if you don't mind my asking?" Jess looked at Charles who had his Bible open and was reading intently.

"I'd say it took a good week before I started being able to eat solid food," Charles replied. "They had to put me on an IV because I couldn't keep anything down."

Jess wasn't sure if Schmidt could handle his best friend in this state...he'd planned to come by the following evening.

She jumped when Nick awoke to be sick once again only a half hour after her arrival, and she fought tears as she held the basin under him. He had nothing left in his stomach at this point, having eaten very little over the past few days, so it was mostly dry heaving.

"Don't leave me, Jess," Nick begged once he caught his breath, and gripped her arm. "I can't do this alone. Please don't..." he doubled over for the third time.

"I'm not leaving you," Jess insisted, rubbing his back, and knew she would have to get him a fresh hospital gown...he was soaked through. "Not for a single minute." She pulled her cell phone out of her purse to text CeCe, knowing she'd be in a calmer position to get her stuff for the evening. She planned on spending the night again, especially knowing how vulnerable Nick was in this state.

CeCe came by as promised and delivered a small suitcase of pajamas and a new outfit for the following day. She shook her head at Nick's unconscious form, and asked the same question: "How is he?"

Jess wiped her eyes after accepting her bag, and turned her attention back to Nick.

"Not so good," she replied. "I keep wondering if we made a huge mistake pushing him into treatment. I'm afraid if the cancer won't kill him this may..."

CeCe put a comforting hand on her friend's shoulder. "He made the right choice," she said. "Listen...Schmidt wants a full report when I leave. You know he's planning to sink every penny he has to get Nick better, right? He's been researching all kinds of stuff, clinical trials, even..."

Jess smiled softly. "Schmidt can help with whatever my insurance plan doesn't cover," she replied, and CeCe's eyes widened.

"You got him on your plan? How?"

Jess shrugged innocently. "I know the right people, and they can't resist my dazzling charms."

Cece shook her head with a chuckle. "Well...I'd better go." She quickly planted a kiss on Nick's cheek. "Call me if you need anything else, okay?" Jess nodded her thanks, watching CeCe vanish down the hallway.

Nick finally opened his eyes around midnight, and found Jess dozing with her head on the mattress. He felt completely hollow and sore, and his mouth tasted horrible. He tried not to wake Jess, but failed when he made a miserable attempt to stifle a sneeze.

"Ow..." Jess muttered when she sat up at the sound, rubbing her neck. She blinked in the darkness and found Nick watching her, his eyes shining in the moonlight. "Hey...you're awake. Is everything okay?"

Nick shrugged, helping himself to a glass of water, sipping gingerly from it.

"Thanks for being here, Jess," Nick whispered once he managed to get his voice on track, and she reached for his hand, squeezing it.

"You're welcome. You know I'm always just a phone call away." she lowered her head. "Nick, I wanted to tell you something, and I don't want you to get mad, okay?"

Nick cocked his head to one side, wondering where Jess was going with this.

"I can't promise I won't but go on," he replied with a small smile, and Jess wet her lips, trying to keep her voice down so she didn't wake Charles.

"I got you under my health insurance plan at work," She said and Nick stared at her. "I told CeCe I didn't want you to know right away, but I think it would ease your distress about getting treatment. I know being stressed about money makes relaxing and getting better a lot harder than if you knew everything was going to be fine. Schmidt is also apparently scouring the world for the top cancer doctor's."

Nick didn't know whether to laugh or to cry at Jess's comment. "How the Hell did you manage to get me on? We're not married," he whispered and she smiled sheepishly. "You lied to get me on your insurance?"

Jess laughed. "No I didn't," she replied. "I'm just really good at using my emotions to get what I want." she winked and Nick shook his head with amusement.

"I don't know what to do with you," he said. "I really appreciate this, Jess..." he winced at the headache that had slowly begun to throb behind his eyes.

"At least you haven't thrown up since ten," Jess teased as he tried to get comfortable in the bed.

"I'm sorry about all that," Nick apologized, and Jess arched an eyebrow.

"Don't be sorry," she insisted. "You couldn't help it."

Nick shrugged...he hated feeling so helpless and miserable. He didn't understand how Charles never seemed to be angry, yet he wanted to punch a hole in the wall.

"Do you know what Charles told me earlier?" He asked as Jess leaned back in her chair. "He told me that the reason he went for chemo, even though it didn't have a guaranteed 100% chance of working, he didn't want to go down without a fight of some kind."

Jess smiled at the comment...hurrah for Charles!

"He's right," she replied. "Neither of us would have let you give up. I know it's a tough road ahead of you, but you're Nick Miller...you're a tough guy."

Nick snorted.

"I'm serious!" Jess insisted. "You're one of the strongest men I know."

Nick rolled his eyes. "Then you've had a pretty poor choice of men in your past," he admitted and she jokingly slapped him on the leg.

"Shush," she scolded. "Listen...you'd better get some sleep. It can only get better from here." she kissed his hand much to his surprise, and Nick smiled at her.

"I wish I could believe you," he replied.

"Do you trust me, Nick?" Jess asked, her eyes widening with hope, and Nick stared at her.

"I trust you," he whispered.


End file.
